Quick to Anger

Is it just me or does it seem like everyone is so quick to get angry and irritated these days, myself included?  Every where I turn, people are angry about something and most of the time they are angry over something little that does not even warrant enough energy to get angry.  If you are going to get angry, at least make it over something worth while like an injustice committed towards something not because of something that someone said or did and it hurt your feelings and you did not get your way.

We have all fallen victim to the "big baby" syndrome but there comes a time when you just have to let things go and let things roll off your back.  I know first hand this is easier said then done but it is much better for your health and mental state.  The bible warns of being easily provoked in Ecclesiastes 7:8 - 10:

"The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.  Do not say, "why were the former days better than those?" For you do not inquire wisely concerning this."

Most situations truly are better after they are dealt with and over.  How often do we say, "wow, glad that's over!" They usually just take a little bit of patience.  "Everything ended up working out, I was worried and upset for no reason."  We have all wondered why things were better in the past when it comes to some situations compared to how they are now.  "Last time, things weren't like this, they were so much better!"  But I don't think anyone wants to be called a fool! Ouch! Now that hurts!

I can not think of a better reason to refrain from being quick to anger. "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools!" WOW! If you think about it, that is exactly where people usually harbor anger - right in their bosom.  Right there in their heart.  They hold on to it tight and they keep it close.

When I feel myself becoming easily angered and irritated, I have to examine myself.  Like the old saying goes, sometimes you have to check-in with God for a check-up and ask God to reveal why you respond and act a certain way.  Usually the source is frustration with a part of my life.  Frustration due to not trusting in God and not having the patience to wait on Him to work out life's situations.  It is definitely better to be patient and wait on God, rather than being prideful and doing things on your own.  When you take yourself out of the equation, it reduces the anger and frustration.

For others, that anger comes from guilt and dissatisfaction with where they are in their life.  The good news is that if you do feel guilt, repent, God will forgive you.  The hard part is is forgiving ourselves and taking the necessary steps to fix whatever is wrong.  The key thing to remember is that with God all things are possible!  If you are dissatisfied with your life, the same thing applies.  Take the necessary steps to change whatever it is that you are dissatisfied with.  If you need help doing that, you might want to consider a life coach. (Shameless plug - Bright Life Solutions would be happy to assist you. =) ) 

Usually, it's other people that tend to make us angry but we have to be more like God.  In many scriptures throughout the bible we read how God is slow to anger.  Let's take Psalms 103:8 for example: "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy".   Another translation reads: "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love."  We also need to show folks some mercy, grace and compassion.  When we remember that God shows us those things at times when we do not deserve it, we also have to show His love to other people whom we feel might not deserve it.  It definitely takes some patience and commitment to be slow to anger, and it definitely takes the love of God.  Some people are not easy to love if we try to do it in our own strength.  Some people we just do not want to love; but if we have a true to desire to be more like God and represent His kingdom, we have to learn to love all people.  If we do not learn to love, we are no better than the person who made us angry. 

"A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays (make less or alleviate) contention (arguments or lack of agreement). " Proverbs 15:18

I do not think anyone wants to be known as someone who consistently stirs up strife.  We would rather be known as peacemakers or the one who is slow to anger to diffuse the situation instead of adding more fuel to the fire.

So the next time someone pushes your buttons, take a deep breath and do a mental assessment of the situation.  Is it really worth your time and energy to get angry or will it be better for your mind, body, and spirit to let it go.

Stop Trying to Figure Stuff Out!!!

Throughout my life, I have witnessed things that have happened to me and to other people and I wonder why.  Why did this happen?  Why did that happen?  Why me? Lord, Why!?!

Over the years, I have learned that sometimes you will never get an answer to your why questions because some things you just do not need to know.  Some things you just have to accept.  Some things you just need to stop trying to figure out.

Recently, I have found myself in a state where I have been trying to stuff out.  Why!?! Why!?! Why!?! Why is this happening? Why is that happening? Asking all those questions ended up leading to a state of frustration, a state of doubt, a state of fear, and a state of insecurity. All because I wanted to understand what's really going on!

There's nothing wrong with trying to understand how stuff works - that's just the engineer in me, that's just the logical side of me.  The problem is that every thing in life is not logical.  Some things are spiritual and logic does not work in the spiritual world no matter how hard you try to figure it out.

There comes a time when you just have to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5) Those times when you really want to know the why are the toughest times to "not" lean on your own understanding.   But God wants us to trust Him and not worry about the why! Why is one question that is never really addressed in the bible.  When we keep focusing on the why, we cause ourselves unnecessary worry, heartache, and pain.  John 14:1 Tells us not to let our hearts be troubled but to trust in God.

It's not always easy to trust God because in our physical world, people can't be trusted and some times without thinking we let that same mindset relate to God.  The bottom line is that people really can not be trusted.  They are going to hurt us, they are going to disappoint us, and some may not even like us although they pretend they do.  It might not always be on purpose but it's going to happen because we are all human.  But God can be trusted!  His words are true.  He's not going to lie.  If He said something, He's definitely going to do it!  His timing might not align with ours but He's going to keep His promises!

When frustration, doubt, fear and insecurities try to rise up in me, I have to knock those thoughts down. (2 Corinthians 10:5)  I have to remember that I am a child of God and that He truly has me in the palm of His hand.  He shows himself worthy of my trust time and time again.  God's thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are definitely not my ways! (Isaiah 55:8) I must focus my attention and thoughts on things that are true honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report. (Philippians 4:8)

It's definitely not easy and my brain can jump into a decision analysis mode in a heart beat.  But one day with prayer and patience I will ask why very little and I will not let myself get so caught up in my thoughts such that I get frustrated, worried, doubtful, or insecure.  My faith is in God not man and therefore, I must realize that things are not always going to make sense to my mind, but as long as my heart and my spirit are at peace that's all that matters!  Let God handle the why!

A Leap of Faith

"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be....because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap!" -- Mary Ann Rachmacher

I read this quote this morning and thought to myself, wow I can really relate to that sentiment.  There have been numerous times in my life where I had to jump from one place in life to another in an effort to better myself and to get to where I wanted to be.  Some leaps are more frightening than others.  My biggest and most frightening leap was deciding to pursue my passion.

The reason why that leap was difficult was mainly because of fear.  Fear of what people would think about me.  Fear of failure.  Fear of not hearing from God and doing things strictly on my own.  In the end, those fears were still there but I was looking for more out of life so I took a leap of faith.  Afterall, only one of two things were going to happen.  I would leap and fail or I would leap and succeed.  Even my failure wouldn't be a true failure because I could use the skills I would learn in other aspects of my life.

That leap of faith has proven to be one of the most fulfilling and challenging things that I have ever done. It gave me confidence and helped increase my self-esteem.  So yes, sometimes you just have to close your eyes and leap!  Don't let fear keep you from reaching your goals and dreams!  One leap can take you from where you are to where you want to be!

Finding Balance in An Unbalanced World

Life can get downright crazy at times with all of the stuff that people have to do these days. Work, school, church, community meetings, raising children, errands, etc all compete for our time. So how do you do it? How do you find time to fit everything in and live a fulfilling life? I believe there are 6 things that can help you achieve balance in your life: Knowing who you are, understanding your values, knowing the vision for your life, setting long term and short term goals, knowing how to deal with stress, and knowing how to manage time.

If someone were to ask you who you are? Would you respond with your name and you current job title? That’s what most people would do. But who you are is not always tied to your job title. Everyone one of us was created for a reason and it’s important that we understand who we are and what our God given vision is. Some of us are teachers, motivators, encouragers, etc. Answering the question of who you are involves getting in touch with your true self and asking yourself 3 key questions: What are your strengths? What are you passionate about? What brings you enjoyment? When you can answer those questions and walk in your God given purpose. Life seems to go much easier and smoother.

A deeper level of knowing who you are involves understanding your values. Your habits are usually your values. If you always sleep in, chances are you value your sleep. Values are the core of who we are. They are the basis of your character, actions, attitudes, ethics and personal beliefs. Galatians 5:22 -23 tells us things that we should value especially if we want to be successful in our Christian walk. We need to value love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. When you have a clear value, you are motivated to do things. Clear values help us make decisions especially when multiple things compete for your time. When you have clear values, you set the foundation for growth. More importantly, clear values bring inner peace.

You also need a vision on where you are headed. What has God shown you for the future? What do you see? God has a unique vision for each of us. Some visions are on a large scale and some are small scale but they are all important. Pray and ask God for the His vision for you life, don’t rush the process. The core of vision is tied up in your values, talents and passions. Try to hang around visionary people who can help guide you.

Once you know who you are, have a vision for you life. You need to create and set some goals for your life to help you achieve that vision. People usually set goals in the follow areas: health and wellness, relationships, work, love, finances, fun, family and faith (i.e. your spiritual walk). You should have both short goals as well as long term goals. What do you hope to accomplish today, this week, this month, and this year, in the next 5 years, in the next 10 years? Set goals in whatever time frame works for you but at least make sure you set some goals that are measurable so that you can see how much progress you are making.

Lastly, you need to learn how to manage your time. For some people, this is one of the most difficult tasks. First step, get a planner or a calendar or use a computer or a cell phone with a calendar or planner on it. You need something that is going to let you map your day hour by hour. Then you need to align your values with your behaviors. The things that you value most should be the things that definitely get time on your calendar.

When life seems to get out of control, always return to what matters most. Find God then find yourself. Rekindle your passions, live them out. Figure out what’s important to you. Make a commitment to it. Pray about it. Get information on it. Make a plan to succeed at it. Face your obstacles and find supportive people to surround you!

Life Balance

Most of us who have an active life struggle to have a good life balance formula. For some of us, life only seems to include work and very little time for friends, God, or relaxation. I'm sure all of us have seen that email about the Big Rocks. You know the one where the professor fills a big jar with rocks and he asks his class if the jar is full and they all say yes. Then he adds some gravel to the jar and asks the class if the jar is full and this time the class says no. Then he goes on to add sand and water until the jar is truly full. The jar represents life and the big rocks represent what's most important to us. Always fill the jar with the big rocks first and then add the extras. They key is understanding and learning what matters most to you. Knowing what matters most to you enables you to be able to say no to people and things that try to take up your time.

Your life balance model should consist of 3 things, worship, work and play! Worship includes your time at church, reading your devotions, prayer time, meditation, silence, solitude, ministering to family and friends, visiting shut-ins, serving on church committees, volunteering at schools and in the community. Work includes jobs, house work, paying the bills, mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, and other labor-intensive thing that we do. Play includes sports, exercise, hobbies, playing instruments, reading, dates, playing games, and hanging out with friends and family. Each activity requires investment of your time and each thing will give you something back. Worship glorifies God and blesses your spirit. Work can be tiring but hopefully you feel good after you accomplish something (if not, that's another subject!). Play time lets you get some exercise or spend some quality time with someone, or doing something---but play time feeds your soul!

Most people don't use this model or think about this model in their lives. Most people pour more into their work than any other aspect of their life. "They kill themselves trying to make a living, and die never having lived." In our society, work becomes our object of worship instead of God. We forget that God should be the one who gives us a sense of security and worth not our JOBS! So if our company tells us goodbye, it doesn't matter--God supplies our needs. When we worship our work, we have to "work" at playing because we don't value play time enough--so there's no time or money for it. Then if we do play, everything is turned into a competition or an avenue to make money. Then play becomes work! Not to mention that we "play" at worship. We don't take it seriously or give it priority. It becomes an after thought. We don't allow God to fill us and we look for other things to take His place. Life becomes out of balance very quickly when we worship our work, work at our play, and play at our worship! Nothing fulfills us.

Don't live an unfulfilling life, discover your big rocks, write out your vision, and live a balanced life….one where you can pour yourself into work while you're there but leave it there when you go home. One where you can go off and have some fun and not think about things at the office. One where you can worship and be totally focused on the things of God and not have other things fighting to get your attention.